I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
