Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
