he referred to my room as the tit cave...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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