No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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