sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
