Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
