You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
