You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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