I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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