you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You brought string cheese to the strip club
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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