I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
