The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
