You made me cry and you don't even care
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
