How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
