What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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