Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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