do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
