i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
is that a dick in a sweater?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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