i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
