FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So much Jack, so little girl.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize