Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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