She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
