I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
