she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize