I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
