I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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