Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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