i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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