man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
