Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
