My hair reeks of homosexuality.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
