My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
