Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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