Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Randomize
