Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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