Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
