he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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