I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
