that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
