I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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