Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize