he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize