you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
