Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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