office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
