you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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