Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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