I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
