haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
