Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
