I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i think i have two assholes
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
