i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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