I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
