hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
