so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
A bitchslap is in order.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
