Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize