I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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