I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
