he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
