It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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