i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
